Emotional Blackmail: The Silent Powerplay in Relationships

Sacha | Thoughts
6 min readSep 16, 2023
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Emotional blackmail is a subtle form of manipulation where one person uses emotional threats, demands, or guilt-tripping to get what they want from another.

Often masked as genuine concern or exaggerated affection, it’s a tactic that can be employed by partners, friends, or family to retain a sense of dominance or to extract compliance.

Understanding emotional blackmail is important because, like its cousin coercive control, it can inflict long-term psychological damage, affecting one’s self-esteem, autonomy, and overall mental well-being.

Although it may not always culminate in physical harm, the emotional scars it leaves can be deep and persistent.

There’s a growing recognition that both men and women can be victims of emotional blackmail, though their experiences and the manifestations might differ.

And while some argue that both genders equally perpetrate it, research suggests that there’s a pattern regarding predominantly male perpetration of this form of abuse.

Understanding and acknowledging these nuances helps frame effective strategies to identify and mitigate the effects of emotional blackmail.

One of the critical aspects of addressing this issue is making sure professionals in healthcare, legal, and social work sectors are adequately equipped to identify the signs too.

And key to this issue is ensuring that those on the receiving end know they’re not just “overreacting” or “misunderstanding” the situation.

The Hurdles in Confronting Emotional Blackmail

One of the most significant barriers in confronting emotional blackmail is its intangibility. Unlike instances of physical abuse, where wounds or bruises might serve as evidence, emotional blackmail operates in the shadows.

Its insidiousness lies in whispered threats, guilt trips, and psychological warfare, all of which are painstakingly difficult to demonstrate.

Victims, already entangled in the web of emotional manipulation, find themselves at a further disadvantage when trying to validate their experiences to outsiders.



Sacha | Thoughts

Sociologist and writer focused on analysing societal power dynamics and promoting positive social change